I'm Plenty Good with That . . . .

There will be consequences…

I had recently told my third husband to go fly a kite with the first two, and if they happened to be near a cliff that was a-okay by me.

So, after the screendoor hit him where the Good Lord split him, I ran for my life and bought my own damn house in Lubbock, probably the only person who ever moved to the God forsaken dust hole on purpose, with no job, no prospects and for once, thank heaven, no man.

For the most part, it became the Girlfriend Getaway, full of weekend debauchery, divorcee style, which includes food, wine and laughin ourselves silly, on account of how funny and underappreciated we were–I  mean seriously, show me man and I’ll show you how to run him off in two hours flat without even meaning to. Seriously, it’s a God-given talent and I won’t even charge admission.

And we got to laughin and talkin about the YaYa Sisterhood, and how we could a taught them a thing or two about debauchery, and Sydna Flowers decided we needed some names, and God help us, she was gonna give ‘em to us and my friend Annie Mount looked like a deer in headlights because she knew Syd was gonna cut our throats and hang us out to dry, and since Syd let us know in a thousand ways she sets on the right hand side of God and we lined up and took it like a man, whinin and moanin and shakin in our boots.

Poor little Annie was first on Syd’s Shit List since she had to work under her at the home decorater business and caught her flack hourly.

Any time Annie asked if there was something she could do, Syd always said, ”No you’ll just get in the way, so just go on over there and Set & Look Pretty,” so Annie became “Sittin Pretty.” And the thing is, Annie is pretty and looks pretty good sittin, so while Syd meant it to be mean, we all thought it fit and she got the best name.

Nancy Barnhill was HotTrot on account of her being the latest to get a shiny new divorce and it ate Sydna’s lunch that all the men were fallin all over themselves to get in her pants.

Our buddy Debbie Hunter is Goody 2 Shoes because she pretends to be better than she really is and you know she can’t possibly be ’cause she hangs out with the likes of us.

My daughter Shirley is Shirley Whirley, and of course Sydna being a decorator named herself ArtsyFartsy and I’m Good n Plenty and I’m plenty good with that.